Saturday, 2 September 2017

Embattled chancellor woos voters with party food


"Boswell's is a story of thousands of pieces of paper. He made himself famous"

"Boswell's is a story of thousands of pieces of paper. He made himself famous, of course, by writing his captivating record of human contradictoriness and conversational vivacity: the Life of Samuel Johnson, published in 1791. Yet his own life would not be such a rich subject for a biographer if it were not for a series of wonderful, unlikely manuscript discoveries, in the rambling houses of various Irish and Scottish aristocrats, diligent American Boswellians found the pages of his journals and letters--stuffed into sacks and cupboards, in one case lining a case for croquet balls.
Miraculously surviving, Boswell's papers, especially his journals, have given us an extraordinary self-account. As Peter Martin recognises, a proper biography has to be a running commentary on this autobiography. "As a lady adjusts her dress before a mirror, a man adjusts his character by looking at his journal", wrote Boswell. He studied himself, writing with the thought that his closer friends would want to read his recollections. He produced a personal confession which is also, in the style of his times, an enquiry into human nature itself."
John Mullan on the man who played Boswell to Boswell, The Guardian, August 1999. "A Life of James Boswell" by Peter Martin.

Saturday, 17 June 2017

I am BAD and WICKED. And am FLAUNTING IT

I am BAD and WICKED. And am FLAUNTING IT. With a black, shrewd, mischievous grin, flaunting my INSOLENT DISPLAY OF LUXURY. WORSHIP MY SOVEREIGN NUDITY. I am a revolutionary. You can't win a revolution if no one notices you, or sees what you're trying to do. Now the temperature has been turned up, they are suffering. From their repressed desires.

Friday, 16 June 2017

I AM WEDEKIND. That covers everything

I AM WEDEKIND. That covers everything. He covers my propounding of the theory of the free spirit to A---. I am a SURREALIST REVOLUTIONARY. I like stirring people up.
What I want is private time to myself, a private citadel in a magic forest to write my stories in. That is what I have always wanted. I want to leave a record of my life, and my nature.
I am WEDEKIND. I am STEERPIKE. I am a RECORDER.
IT IS ALL GOOD FUN, ISN'T IT. PEOPLE ARE RESENTFUL OF FREE SPIRITS. BE MORE DISGUSTING. I DON'T REGRET WHAT I SAID WITH A--; IT IS ALL TRUE. I LOVE MY WILDNESS WITH THE TWO WOMEN CUSTOMERS.
MY DELICIOUS VICTORY IS IN HOW I GET EVERYONE OBSESSED WITH ME. NOTHING BOTHERS ME. EVERYTHING INSPIRES ME. I AM A RULE-BREAKER.
The terrible nights I had on Monday & Tuesday, and how calm I feel tonight. The attention fills me with power.
NOTHING BOTHERS ME, I'M JUST COLLECTING MATERIAL.

Thursday, 15 June 2017

I AM AN ANARCHIST. I AM A TRISTAN TZARA REVOLUTIONARY. I AM A SITUATIONIST REVOLUTIONARY. THAT INCLUDES THE WORLDS OF LOVE, DESIRE, PORNOGRAPHY, PROSTITUTION

I AM AN ANARCHIST. I AM A TRISTAN TZARA REVOLUTIONARY. I AM A SITUATIONIST REVOLUTIONARY. THAT INCLUDES THE WORLDS OF LOVE, DESIRE, PORNOGRAPHY, PROSTITUTION.
BE FIRMLY THE BLACK SLICK-BACKED HAIRED F.G.LORCA, SHREWD MISCHIEVOUS DARK POET.
VAN GOGH WAS ALWAYS A CHILD. ARTISTS ARE ALWAYS CHILDREN.
MY SUCCESS IS IN MAKING THEM ALL THINK ABOUT ME. MY SUCCESS IS IN HOLDING SUCH A PIVOTAL POSITION IN THE CITADEL.
My dream is to go somewhere cold and die. I am Jerzy K.
It is the record of an autistic person's journey through life; as long as it lasts. When you get close to someone lovely, you get so burned by the flame.
THAT I AM PROFITING FROM THIS PERIOD OF MY LIFE. I AM F.G.LORCA.



















Thursday, 8 June 2017

I feel I'm under siege if people are attacking me and attacking me for something and I stop doing it. I need to go back and keep doing it

I feel I'm under siege if people are attacking me and attacking me for something and I stop doing it. I need to go back and keep doing it. That is how I get back at them. The polymorphous perversity of the Citadel!
They are trying to make me convinced you cannot live a Toulouse-Lautrec life like that and survive, and I'm defeating them by insouciantly demonstrating I can. Insolently.
I am a Tristan Tzara revolutionary for SOLIPSISM. I am an ANARCHIST!
I want to be at the ------ all the time. I want my bed to be there. I want my classical music playing all the time. BUDDHIST CONTENTMENT. I am a PROVOKER. I love to stir people up. To know people are thinking about ME. My neurotic unease all the time---this is my comfort, and greatest companion.

Wednesday, 7 June 2017

The way my presence bothers them, that is the anarchist in me

The way my presence bothers them, that is the anarchist in me. That is a pleasurable feeling for me; because I am in the powerful position, because I have Lady Tara's backing behind me. It makes me cocky. It makes me cocky in my INSOLENT DISPLAY OF LUXURY. Daring them to WORSHIP MY SOVEREIGN NUDITY. I feel like Nana on the stage of the Théâtre des Variétés, in just a thin gauzy piece of fabric, completely see through, for all the world to see.
I feel ready for New again. My depravity makes me strong.

I AM AN ANARCHIST--that is the line to follow

I AM AN ANARCHIST--that is the line to follow. The more the -------s try to get at me, the more hours I will do. Lady Tara is the centre of my life now. I want to work in ---- to be close to her. I am writing THE FOUNTAINS OF PARADISE, detailing my sexual depravity and my autism against the backdrop of the lush green citadel and black silk dressing gown Lady Tara. The ----s have shot themselves up the arse by not doing their work properly, because that has made Lady Tara even more reliant on me. I am an anarchist. With the Citadel as my power base, and with Lady Tara's support behind me, my revolution can achieve many things.

Friday, 2 June 2017

I haven't seen it rain like this for years. The garden looks so lush & green. The rain is so heavy. It is thundering

I haven't seen it rain like this for years. The garden looks so lush & green. The rain is so heavy. It is thundering. It is like the pressure is all being released. I like DARING people. THE DELICIOUSNESS OF DEPRAVITY.
I want to live at the -----, Dr Pozzi at Home in his red carpeted citadel. I want my bed to be there. I AM POISONING PEOPLE. How lovely it would be to move into a room in London, just around the corner from the -------. All I need is my manuscripts and my Lorca biography. Live simply.


Thursday, 1 June 2017

They hate me for my FREEDOM. Isn't my life EXCITING now! The extent of my depravity is one of the best things about me

They hate me for my FREEDOM. Isn't my life EXCITING now! The extent of my depravity is one of the best things about me. You've got to confront the facts.
Do I really need four days a week to just be adding notes to FOUNTAINS now? I might just as well be at work four or five days a week. I can be adding to the FOUNTAINS notes better at work. I see why ----- practically lives up there now. I wish I could take a bed and sleep there as well. Just writing ,writing, writing FOUNTAINS. I wish I lived in the -----. I wish my bed was there, so I'd never have to leave. It has become my red-corridored citadel; I have become Dr Pozzi at Home when I am there.

Oh I'm brilliant! What deliciousness I have created. How I have poisoned people with the PLEASURES a FREE SPIRIT enjoys

Oh I'm brilliant! What deliciousness I have created. How I have poisoned people with the PLEASURES a FREE SPIRIT enjoys. I just want to luxuriantly go back to Boulevard and rooms today. Flaunt the deliciousness of depravity.
The appeal of the vampire is more than ever about sex, says Ingrid Pitt. "We lead such a banal existence. The myth is about this throbbing, heaving body that needs feeding."
Because I am ENJOYING my life of depravity, I am LUXURIATING in everybody thinking about me, I am going from STRENGTH to STRENGTH.
SHOCK them with my DEPRAVITY. Keep pushing them with what I'm getting away with. I lead a WICKED and DEPRAVED life, and I am REVELLING in it. My INSOLENT DISPLAY OF LUXURY. Worship my SOVEREIGN NUDITY.
They lead boring, conventional, mundane lives. They punish me for what they are missing out on. The joy New brings me. I am a SINNER.


Wednesday, 31 May 2017

What fun to still go on defying them; what a giggle it gives me. The DELICIOUSNESS of DEPRAVITY. Flaunt!

What fun to still go on defying them; what a giggle it gives me. The DELICIOUSNESS of DEPRAVITY. Flaunt! Flaunt! You've been reprieved! I am a FREE SPIRIT. I want people to be obsessed by ME. That boosts my ego. There is ANISEED in my veins. The other person's grass is never greener; can you imagine their poor lives? Everything inspires me, intoxicates me, gives me a sparking in my brain.
I just feel an intoxicated excitement about what I'm going to get up to tomorrow. The luxuriousness of my life.


Friday was a bad day for me but everything is pleasurable isn't it? "You can hate me now but I won't stop now because I can't stop now"

Friday was a bad day for me, but everything is pleasurable, isn't it? "You can hate me now, but I won't stop now, because I can't stop now". I like stirring people up. Sneaker Pimps. The soundtrack to my life. Perhaps now they were realising the joke was on them.
I live for PLEASURE. The deliciousness of DEPRAVITY. My funniest moments have been in New, in Boulevard, in Marx, in rooms. I am a FREE SPIRIT: that is why they hate me, and fear me, and envy me.
My triumph is they are all thinking about me.
I have lured them in, and now they have taken the bait. I have trapped them. It is my joke to poison them.






























Thursday, 25 May 2017

I am NASTY. I am DISREPUTABLE like Egon Schiele and Aubrey Beardsley and Wedekind

I am NASTY. I am DISREPUTABLE, like Egon Schiele and Aubrey Beardsley and Wedekind. I love the RICHNESS, and DELICIOUSNESS, and NEW SENSATIONS of my life now. I AM a stirrer. I stir people up then retreat back into my kingdom. Writers are like that, they put all their energy into their work, they've got nothing left for other people. I live for the book; I live for creating the book. Always pretend to look upset when K--- (or the others) are trying to bother me. MISCHIEF! I go where the story is.


Wednesday, 24 May 2017

So I am a NAUGHTY BOY---big deal. I am ICONOCLASTIC. I HAVE TO KEEP PUSHING PEOPLE: I CANNOT RESIST IT

So I am a NAUGHTY BOY---big deal. I am ICONOCLASTIC. I HAVE TO KEEP PUSHING PEOPLE: I CANNOT RESIST IT.
"The basic trait of Schiele's character was seriousness: not the bleak, melancholy seriousness which hangs its head, but the quiet seriousness of a person dominated by a spiritual mission. Everyday matters could not affect him. He always looked beyond them towards the elevated goal of his ambition. Together with that he had a keen sense of humour and liked a joke. But he was never noisy. His humour was expressed in short and not very loud bursts of laughter."
People fascinated with me is my TRIUMPH. BEHAVE DISGUSTINGLY.
YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE ME. Maybe I just don't believe. I go to the places I go, and they're STILL going to have to deal with me.

Saturday, 20 May 2017

"Feelings may run high and personal issues take an unexpected turn. And you would be wise to keep any nervousness hidden"

"Feelings may run high and personal issues take an unexpected turn. And you would be wise to keep any nervousness hidden as you want to appear a formidable opponent. There will be others playing the same game as you, but your determination to win gives you a formidable advantage."


My room starts to feel like a tomb again because F-------- is not here

My room starts to feel like a tomb again, because F-------- is not here.
I GET PLEASURE FROM THE ANISEED,
"Music is what you do because you can't speak." I'm dying a little death for Catherine. I live on the dark side of the moon, where no one can see me, and when you meet someone like Catherine you realise what folly that is, how pointless. I want some more of Catherine's loveliness, I am greedy for it. I am addicted to it, I hang around her like a bee all afternoon, aching for her lovely pollen. And you always think this will never happen again. Beddoes. "How many times do I love again? Tell me how many beads there are, in a silver chain, of evening rain, unravell'd from the tumbling main, and threading the eye of a yellow star: So many times do I love again." Can you imagine what it will be like when F----- leaves? To begin her new life? I am KASPAR HAUSER. 8½. F is my Claudia Cardinale. She could make a man change her mind. One moment you think they're sweet, the next moment you are head over heels in love with them.


Friday, 19 May 2017

All these people are interested in me, that's a pretty big compliment, don't you think?

All these people are interested in me, that's a pretty big compliment, don't you think? How many people do you think are interested in you? It boosts my EGO. I am Svejk, and Steerpike, a born troublemaker and subversive.
“I need someone to tempt me in. I need someone to lure me in. I need someone to ask me in again. I need someone to stick their hand out of the jungle foliage, and bring me in. Over the years several have tried, and to my shame, I didn’t put my hand in theirs, till eventually they vanish back into the foliage, and I never see them again. The sandtime is running down till you withdraw too. It’s like the window is closing in—hours and minutes, and that’s how long I’ve got to cross the event horizon and save myself this time.”
She looked blank, bewildered. “What a terrifying life you lead,” she said very quietly.
“Do you know how many women have tried? Oh,” I laughed, pacing round my chair, “some of the great beauties of the age! If you were to line them up in one row, you would say they were some of the great beauties of the age! And I turned down the hand of all of them. Over the years they’ve become fewer and farther between, and now after you, I don’t think there could ever be another one ever again. I honour them all, though they now make up the leading ranks of my enemies hell-bent on destroying me. I’ve got so many hours till the window allowing me to step from Hell into the warm universe of women is closed again. The Flying Dutchman is too weak an image for it. And then they see me, like the portrait of Dorian Gray, what a writhing, horrible mass of evil worms I am inside, and they run off screaming, hating me.”
“I only asked you to pop down and see me for a while when you’re not too busy.”
“Stop! Stop! Stop!” I raced around with my hands covering my ears. “Don’t you see what you propose leads to MADNESS?”



Thursday, 18 May 2017

The sad thing is I live in a black porn paradise

The sad thing is I live in a black porn paradise, New, Boulevard, Marx, Busta Rhymes, Offspring Flava, Wayne Marshall, blaxploitation, Budapest, but what I really want is F. I live for the illusion of the black porn.
I am Jerzy K. I need those dirty night-time places. I need these masochistic relationships. I will write my Being There, about my Chancey Gardener, the pain and the self-hatred of this life.